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一四一、难解何处娇
余祥跑了，留下了周身热气不退的秀儿。她蜷起腿将脸全埋进了膝盖里，心脏跳的都好像能让她感觉到浑身上下的血脉流动似的。还有余庆呢，她要怎么跟他说？这时候哪怕她让自己不要去想，也根本控制不住那思绪往那处飘。
她逃避一般的窝在厨房里忙碌，可直到饭菜端上餐桌，几人吃过，她又抢着把用过的碗盘收到厨房里清洗完，从始至终，她的视线就没敢有哪怕一个细微的眼角落在余庆身上。她收拾厨房的时候，余祥过来告诉她要先去前院熬药，余福看出了她的局促，跟她说了一声就也去了前院。
呜她想反悔。秀儿看着整洁到已经不能再整洁的厨房，拎着扫帚盯着地面恨不能在地上再瞪出一层灰来。磨磨蹭蹭，磨磨蹭蹭上夜了，又简单洗漱了一番的她赶紧跑去杂物房把灯笼取出来点燃。
路过大屋时，她偷偷往里面瞄了一眼，看见余庆穿着洁白的寝衣安静的躺在贵妃榻里好像是睡了，一本没看完的书还被他拿在手里放在腹上。
夏日炎热，夜里虽然凉爽许多但像她这样忙来走去还是要见汗的。也许是看他真的睡着了，秀儿在松了口气的同时悬吊的小心脏也默默归了位。他睡了，就意味着今晚就这样了罢。可她还没高兴几秒钟，躲不过的现实就又敲击上她的脑壳。躲过了今天，还有明天，还有后天她能躲到何时？
秀儿站在廊下，看着几只飞蛾寻着光亮围着着灯笼起舞。她想起经常在灯笼里看见的飞蛾残骸，那是被烛火燎灼了翅膀或者直接被火烧死的。飞蛾扑火，它们是不知道危险吗？还是因为那烛火在它们眼里太美了，它们根本来不及去思考危险这件事？也或是它们其实什么都知道，但还是管不住自己想要扑上去的欲望？
她想不明白。
端着燃烛，她悄声的走进了屋中。先点燃了驱蚊驱虫的燃香，又点起了几支蜡烛驱散屋中的暗影。余庆没有动，沉稳的呼吸好像在向她说明他真的已经睡了。
他应该是很累了。秀儿取出一柄折扇，小心的挨着贵妃榻坐到矮凳上轻轻给他打扇。余庆跟余祥每日的辛苦她全都看在眼里，也让她时时感觉自己太过没用帮不了他们太多。随即她又想起自己今日主动去缠惑他们的事了，烛火把她酡红的脸颊映的更加艳赤，只是因为这次羞臊的太过正经，让她都忍不住开始反省。
余庆其实并没有睡，他只是看书看累了想要闭眼松缓一下疲劳。今天的秀儿不对劲儿，从他回家后看见她的第一眼，她就一直在有意无意的回避着他
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